Noonchee Oppsah

If ever there was a backhanded compliment contest, the one I received today wins hands down.

The mother of the house got an email from a girl who had wanted to work for her from the aupair/nanny website. She has another job in the vicinity and wonders if we could introduce her to any other young women, show her round etc. This morning over breakfast the mother told me the reason she hadn't hired her.

'She was just drop dead gorgeous! I saw her picture and I was thinking there's no way she's coming into this house!' The last part of this sentence was delivered with a nod towards the much younger Mr of the house who was sitting in the next room.

This was followed by about 5 minutes of glorification of this hot 19 year old German's hair, figure and everything else. It was blatantly obvious I had been hired because I would not pose such a distraction.

Another 5 minutes later and the implication of her raving about the German made the mother backtrack a little 'I'm not saying you're not pretty. I just realised that sounds like I was saying you're not pretty. It's just you looked a lot more down to earth and more like us.'

Being called down to earth is not a compliment, it's a consolation.

Don't worry lady, I certainly won't be pretty after I've eaten you out of house and home and acquired a forehead that needs Botox from all the frowning I'm doing.